Years ago, I created a product called Consciousness in a Can.
It was a collection of thought, laughter and conversation-provoking quotations. There's a story about how it went from being an idea in my mind to an actual product in stores, but that's not what I'm writing about.
How exciting, right? I created a product! It's on the shelves of stores and museums, in catalogs, all the behest of my hard work.
I was officially an entrepreneur. I wasn't making a living yet off my creation, but my PR campaign was gaining steam. I was getting write-ups in newspapers and mentions on TV shows.
It wasn't until everything was in motion that I began thinking about where it all could go. Lots of sales (success, right?) would lead to having to make larger quantities. That would require expanding, moving out of the assigned bedroom office in my apartment into a larger space, and maybe even buying some equipment to reduce production costs. Of course, I would need a staff, and I would have to oversee the company—go in every day and keep the wheels turning.
As I thought about that outcome, I got less excited about growing the business. Now we know that's not the only outcome; I could grow it and perhaps interest a larger company to buy me out for some big bank, right? But that would still require years of being trapped in a routine that doesn't float my boat even though it's my company.
It's so easy to look at undertakings with starry eyes and romantic notions, not considering the long game.
Do you want to be a famous actor? Do you want to build your own company? Do you want to be a business, relationship, life coach, a stand-up comedian, or a motivational speaker? A doctor? A lawyer? A performance artist, a painter, or a writer? Create products? There are so many things you could be!
You have to consider what you ultimately consider success in all areas of your life, not just work/business. Once you do that, build the foundational toolbox to support your whole life.
To begin with, in the maintenance of your desire, it is essential to cultivate your relationship with disappointment and rejection. A foundational piece that will carry you through the times you feel like a failure. How you frame things that are not going your way is crucial. And you have to do the work to have choice in this matter—the inner work. (The importance of this tool spreads throughout every nook and cranny of your life like melted butter on an English Muffin!)
I'm reading a book called Ego Is the Enemy. In it, the author, Ryan Holiday, says, “I had the phrase EGO IS THE ENEMY tattooed on my right forearm, and THE OBSTACLE IS THE WAY tattooed on my left forearm...both prepare me, admonish me, to choose the right course in any situation I face.”
This is a poignant and funny TED talk on cultivating rejection. It's called “What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection.”
Earlier, I mentioned the long game. What will it take to achieve your dream, and what do you have to give up to succeed? Here is where it's vital you understand your own definition of success. What is the cost? Actor dreamers, have you considered what it means to be a public figure preyed upon by tabloids and paparazzi? Doctor dreamers, lawyer dreamers—how much of your soul will you have to sell to survive in your profession? Many endeavors require you to spend more time working than with your family; this can cause rifts. Many things start as the fulfillment of a dream, and then the path takes a turn toward where it was always headed, but you didn't see it coming because you had blinders on and didn't look at the path before you.
Of course, ultimately, you never know how something will turn out. And you're not the same person along the way. You go as far as you can see, and then you can see farther. All final decisions are made in a state of mind that won't last.
The poet Mary Olivier asked, “How do you want to spend your precious life?” And now I'm asking you because life IS precious, and you do have a choice.